I was talking with a business owner, let’s call him Mark for privacy. He runs a small landscaping company. Fourteen employees, three trucks, a season that runs flat out from May to October. Last summer his family planned a week at the lake for the first real vacation in three years. He took his laptop. He said it was “just in case.”
The “vacation” didn’t go well as he got sucked in to checking emails, answering calls and missing out on some family activities. He came home more tired than when he left plus feeling bad his time with family was over and he didn’t feel any more connected to them.
I asked him what he thought would happen if he did not check his email for a week. He thought about it for a long moment. Then he said, “Honestly, I don’t know. Nothing has ever gone wrong before. I have just never let it not go wrong without me there.”
That answer says everything about why so many of us struggle to rest. It is not really about the workload. It is about what we believe will happen if we step back and let someone else carry it for a while.
Rest is not something you earn
Somewhere along the way, a lot of business owners, some employees too, picked up the idea that time off has to be justified. You work hard enough, you hit your numbers, then maybe you get to rest. Until then, rest feels indulgent.
That belief does not hold up. Rest is not a reward for good behavior. It is what allows a person to keep showing up as a good leader, a good parent, a good version of themselves. Without it, something gives. Usually, it is patience first. Then energy. Then the quality of the decisions you make on behalf of your business and the people who depend on you.
Was the situation with Mark ever really about the business surviving a week without him? Or was it about Mark believing he was the only thing holding it together?
The guilt is not really about the team
The guilt we feel about taking time off rarely has much to do with the team. It has to do with identity. When your whole sense of worth is tied to being needed every single hour of every single day, stepping away feels like losing something or you’re letting others down by not being available.
It usually is not true. The teams I have worked with are almost always more capable than their leader gives them credit for. Given the chance, people rise. Denied the chance, they stay dependent, and so does the leader.
What rest actually does for you
This is not just a feel-good idea. Real recovery time changes how your brain and body function. A rested mind solves problems faster and sees connections a tired mind misses entirely. That is not a coincidence. When you step away from constant input, your brain gets the space it needs to process, sort, and make sense of things in the background. Some of your best ideas will show up on a walk or in the shower, not at your desk. That is your brain doing the work you gave it no room to do while you were plugged in.
The physical side matters just as much. Chronic stress keeps your body in a low-grade fight or flight state, and that state is expensive. It shows up as poor sleep, a shorter fuse, a weaker immune system, and a body that never quite gets to rest even when you finally lie down. Time away lowers cortisol, restores sleep quality, and gives your nervous system a chance to settle. A well rested person is not just more fun to be around. They are physically healthier.
And here is the part I want you to think about. Rested people are happier people. Happier people are more creative, more patient, and easier to be around. That is true for you, and it is just as true for your staff.
I have talked to employees who feel guilty using their vacation days, the same way Mark felt guilty using his. They worry a manager will think less of them, or that the workload will pile up and become someone else’s burden, or that asking for time off makes them look less committed. That guilt does not make them harder workers. It makes them tired ones. A person that never fully unplugs will run on fumes and risk burnout leading to expensive medical leaves.
If you want a workplace known for good ideas and low turnover, permission to rest cannot stop with you. It has to be something every person on your team believes applies to them too.
Set your team up before you go
Taking time off without guilt does not mean disappearing without a plan. It means preparing well enough that your absence does not create a mess for the people who stayed behind. That preparation is what makes real rest possible.
Here are your action items:
Name a decision maker. Someone specific, not “the team.” One person who knows they have the authority to make calls while you are gone. Ambiguity is what causes people to text you while you’re away. Clarity is what stops it.
Write down the three things that would actually require you. Not everything is urgent. Most things can wait five days. Figure out the short list of situations where someone should genuinely interrupt your time off and be honest, that the list is shorter than you think.
Tell your team what “off” means for you. Do you check email once a day? Not at all? Say it out loud. People cannot respect a boundary they do not know exists.
Practice on a smaller scale first. If a full week feels impossible, start with a weekend. Turn off notifications from Friday night to Monday morning. See what happens. Usually the answer is nothing, and that is the point.
The people who matter are waiting
Last fall, Mark took a second trip, a long weekend this time, no laptop. He told me later that his daughter asked him to teach her how to fish, something she had asked twice before, and he ran out of time both times. He finally said yes.
That is the real cost of never disconnecting. It is not the missed emails on your end. It is the missed moments on theirs. The people who matter to you are not asking you to work less because they doubt your value. They are asking because they want more of your time, not more of your effort.
What can you do this month to make it possible to hand things off, even for a few days? Not because the business does not need you. Because the people around you, at work and at home, need to see that you trust them, and need to see you rested enough to be fully present when you are with them.
Creating a people-centered workplace begins with remembering there is a person running the business too.
If this hit close to home, the guilt around taking time off is often tangled up with a bigger worry: losing good people while you are not watching. Grab my free guide, “How to Stop Good Employees from Quitting,” and build a team you can trust to hold things down while you rest.